A normal visit to the doctor is usually me devoting an hour of my morning drooling over Dr. Travis Stork on ABC's "The Doctors" while I drink my coffee before I go into work. Which, btw- real doctors don't look like that. If they did, I wouldn't have waited 5 years to go to the doctor, I promise you. Just in case you have forgotten how beautiful this man is:
Anyways, enough drooling on my blog! Back to the nature at hand...I finally worked up the courage to go to the doctor. I have been working my ass of trying to lose weight. I've been going hard since November and I just can't seem to shed the weight. I wake up at 5:30am every Mon, Weds, Fri and drive across town to do crossfit. This is not as easy as it sounds, because I don't get home from work until around 11pm the night before and it's EXHAUSTING. Because I have a screwed up work schedule, this is the only time that works for me. I have learned to love it, though. There's just something about working out as the sun is rising that gives me such a feeling of accomplishment. I have also been eating really well- juicing, sticking to paleo, etc... and nothing is seeming to give. What is the point in doing all this hard work if I'm not going to see results? If there is something chemically wrong with me that is holding me back from losing weight then I needed to know about it. Of course my first fear was that I had diabetes or a thyroid issue, both of which would SUCK. So, I manned up and went to the doctor. On Valentine's Day. It's been a while since I had a full-scale physical, pap-smear and all, and I was NOT looking forward to it. There is nothing more humiliating than lying on a disgusting doctor's bench stark naked, spread-eagled with your feet strapped in stirrups while a doctor probes and prods your va-jay jay with cold metal thingys. I hate it!! I also got pricked a thousand times while they did blood work. I was there for THREE HOURS. Needless to say, I was hating life. The sweet little nurse, though- when she went to weigh me she didn't want to assume that I weigh at least 300 pounds, so she put the weight on 100, then 150, then 200... and I was like, c'mon, you know I weigh at least 300, stop wasting time lol. But thanks for trying to be sweet :) So, I weighed 315 on February 14th. Today is March 4th and I weigh 305. Ten pounds down since Valentine's Day. 30 Pounds lost total. The good news? I'm not diabetic or suffering from any sort of thyroid disease. Turns out that I have PCOS and weight gain and obesity is common with this condition. I have had an irregular period my whole life, due to PCOS apparently. My doc says that it creates a large hormonal imbalance and she thinks that it is definitely why I'm having problems losing weight. So, here I am, on medicine for the first time in my life besides birth control.
It is amazing to me how easy it has become to say no to binging when I'm seeing results. Before when I was working out like crazy and eating a menu that would impress even Jillian Michaels, it was easy to binge because it feel like nothing I did was helping anyways. But now that I have fresh images in my mind of shrinking numbers on the scale, I can say no to crap food and the cravings don't linger around too long. I still struggle so much with just not eating when I get home from work. I've asked folks I work with what their eating schedule is and a lot of them say that their 3rd meal is after we get off work. We work 1:30pm-10:30pm/ish. The general consensus seems to be that meals fall in these time slots: breakfast around 10:30/11am, Dinner around 5/6pm, and then 3rd meal around 11pm. Bed time is around 1am, and wake up time is around 10am. Well, since I always have to be the spotted zebra, this definitely won't work for me because I am an early riser. Even when I'm not waking up before the sun to go to IronTribe, I'm up by 8am everyday. So, my eating schedule is pretty much the same as someone who has a normal work schedule, like a 9-6: breakfast around 8, lunch around 12, dinner around 5/6. Then 5 hours later when I get home I'm hungry again! I really wish I could just go straight to bed when I get off but I just can't. I am too amped up after work. And I'm BORED. I am going home to an empty, dark house with no one to entertain me. I work in tv so the last thing I want to do is look at more screens, so watching tv or a movie is not desirable. I'm on the computer all day everyday, so I definitely don't want to play on the computer. I stare at words all day, writing and reading them, so a book is not appealing. Everyone I would want to talk to on the phone is asleep. My neighbors are also asleep, so I can't be loud with music or exercising... It's a struggle. I have turned to food for so many years to entertain me when I'm bored, it's a battle every time I get home. Most of the time I can find a healthy option, but there are times when the Taco Bell craving or the pizza calling my name is just too much to resist. I really do think that the medicine is helping with my appetite, though. I honestly believe that seeing results is the driving force that will keep me from binging at night. I swear I can look at a cake and gain a pound. I absolutely despise people who can eat crap all the time and never gain a pound- they can suck it. But for the people who work hard to stay healthy and in shape, I admire you :). #IJS There are small things I've noticed in the past couple of days indicating I've lost weight that I find weird. For example: my fingers feel slimmer. What a strange place to notice I've lost weight! I had to tighten the bra straps in my favorite bra because they were too loose. My feet- I can see bones on the top of my foot; they don't look as much like they could belong to Fred Flinstone anymore. My face. When I look at myself in the mirror, I actually see a face. Not just a round blob with a huge roll of skin connecting it to my neck. My IronTribe coach thinks I've probably gained a lot of muscle weight over the past few months and that's why it's taken me a while to see results. This is probably true. I can definitely feel that my arms and legs are more toned. Moral of the blog: go to the doctor. It might not be as bad as you think. All these years I've been struggling to lose weight, and it turns out it is an easy treatment of balancing out my hormones.