Monday, April 30, 2012

Monday Monday

Can you think of a better way to start a Monday?
Neither can I! Down 5.1 pounds since my last log on!! I ran two miles today and it was good. I actually felt like I was jogging, instead of just a pitiful fast walk/limp. There are these steps by the river that are usually hard for me to get up and down while I'm running, but today they were not a challenge. Notice I didn't say easy? I picked up the pace a lot, but I still paced myself and controlled my breathing when I felt it getting short. As I was finishing up my first mile, some random man asked if I was drinking enough water! I answered him "yes" and he was like: "good, just wanting to make sure!" Who does he think he is!? Moving on... as I was finishing up the second mile, some random woman said: "you need to carry water with you if you're going to be out running!" I politely said "thank you" and kept going. At first, I was all like "who do these people think they are!? Do I look like I'm dying or something? Do they think I'm a child?" I felt fine; actually, I felt great! My pace was good, I wasn't breathing heavily and I was running lightly on my feet. But then it occurred to me that the lady had said: "when you're running." She did not say jogging. I couldn't help but smile :) I got home and looked in the mirror... no wonder these randos were telling me to drink water! I two had deep purple triangles under my eyes. Mu whole face and neck were as red as a tomato and I looked really rough. Back in high school my basketball coach would pull me out of the game because she thought I was too tired because my face was so red. My tennis coach used to yell at me to hydrate because my face was so red. It used to make me so mad! But now, it just makes me happy that I'm reaching that point in exercise that causes my face to get so red. I will make sure I'm hydrating enough, I promise! I got a little nauseous about an hour after my run. Wonder why?

Sunday, April 29, 2012

April Blunders Bring May Wonders

Ok, so April hasn't been my best month. I had Taco Bell friday night, I haven't worked out hardly at all the last 2 weeks and i've been caving in to goodies at work. I have had tons of people tell me recently they can tell i've lost weight. Not sure how it's come off recently, but this has motivated me to get back in the game120%. My foot hasn't been hurting at all, so I started back on P90X2 this morning. It felt good. I'm determined to make the month of May my best one yet. It is the month of my triathlon after all! (May 19th for all you cheerleaders wanting to come :)
Here are some pics: week one, taken back in January:
Week 16 taken today:

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Change of Faces

This picture was taken in the fall:

This picture was taken this past weekend:

Notice the shrinking double chin? Babysteps. I recently had to reiterate to a close one that I am not looking for any "quick fixes" or temporary diets. Yes, it is sooo frustrating to see slow progress when you want the end result more than anything in the world! But progress, it still is. This is so much more than just about losing weight. I am slowly but surely learning how to live, eat, and play like a normal, healthy person. I yearn for the day that I can eat at parties without feeling judged, eat a cookie without feeling judged, or not feel judged any time I eat in public. The other day I was out with a friend and I heard some douchebag say: "you are a large woman" to his friends, directed at me. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt my feelings and all I could think of was: I wonder if he would still say that if he had any idea of the steps I'm making to improve my life? If he knew how hard this is for me? Or how many positive changes i've made? But then I thought, no- because he's just some worthless asshole that only feels better about himself by making others feel bad. But then, I had yet another thought. Him and I are not so different. He obviously struggles with something inside himself and his way of mending it is hurting others. I struggle with my own problems and I mend them by harming myself through binge eating and being lazy. Either way, we both harm someone. I'm going to change face next time I am facing a problem. I will think of that douchebag, and instead of harming myself, I will do something nice for someone.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Off the Grid

I'm sorry I've been off the grid the past few days, but I am recovering from a nasty stomach bug. I have no idea what I ate/drank that got me sick, but if I knew, I would cast it off to the Bermuda triangle. I went to a friend's surprise b-day party Saturday night and got sick twice on the way home! Super embarrassing because a co-worker was driving me home. Yes, I was drinking, but I was NOT toasted (I swear, Officer!) It was so mortifying. I continued to get sick all throughout the night and next day. Then the next kind of sickness came (I will spare you the details, I promise- so it is safe to continue reading). I had a fever all night Sunday and had to call in sick to work Monday morning. By Monday afternoon I felt so much better and went in to work for a few hours. Today is Tuesday and I am still a little queasy, but I think I'll survive! Ok, so where was the eureka moment? I would say at any given point while I was in bathroom misery... we put so much shit into our bodies! There is no telling what made me sick, but it was the worst feeling I have ever had. I've never been really big into the whole organic "clean eating" phenomena, but I can promise you that I will take more caution in the foods that I'm consuming. I managed a restaurant for 7 years, so I understand how hazardous food really can be. I Cloroxed my house several times and I even took care to wash my strawberries twice this morning! How is it possible that something essential for our survival can also kill us or make us very sick? Have you ever thought about that? We have to have food to survive, but not just any food. We must make our food decisions wisely and responsibly or else the necessity we call food could kill us. You might not die from food poisoning, but you could die from a heart attack after years and years of bad food in your system. You could get diabetes from a poor diet, the list goes on and on. Enjoy food, but enjoy it responsibly. It is okay to indulge, but make up for it. And be smart with your indulgences! One of the things I am striving to learn, and I think I am doing well with- is learning how to handle splurging. Everyone does it, you just have to know how to balance it.

Friday, April 20, 2012


Once again I managed to go to the grocery store and come home to a still entry pantry. That's right- everything I bought was fresh and needed to be stored in the fridge! That yogurt up there is amazing. Seriously, if you have a Kroger, you gotta get this stuff. So yummy. My friend Beth and I went hiking this morning at Radnor Lake. The trails are pretty tough for me. I've only done them three times, but I could really feel an improvement this time. It's a good workout for my quads, which I definitely need for biking. Beth is super in shape, so I felt bad for slowing her down. I'm pretty stoked- beth, amy and I are going to try to hike every friday morning. I love that I have friends that love doing stuff like that. Tomorrow morning i'm meeting another friend at a nearby trail to do some walking. Active friends are happy friends! :)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Feeling Good

I saw a pin on Pinterest that said: "That moment when you know people will be able to tell you've lost weight." I had one of those moments! I was in a jeans kind of mood today and I felt great in them! It has been YEARS since I've been confident about the way I looked in jeans. One of the girls I work with was very complimentary about how I look today. She said that she could really tell I've lost weight! There is no better feeling!
Ok, now for some food chat. Don't you just love a fantastic meal that requires little to no effort? Me too. Here's a new fave. Queso Fresco and Chipotle baked salmon with hazelnuts. I know it sounds fancy, but so easy and healthy! Just a few easy steps... Preheat oven to 400, spray pan with olive oil, place frozen or thawed salmon on pan, spread Laughing Cow Queso Fresco and Chipotle cheese spread on top of salmon (it's only 35 cals per serving!), then sprinkle with hazelnuts. Bake until internal temp of salmon is 145 degrees. I paired it with a spring mix salad with light creamy baslsamic dressing. Yummo!

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

The Thought That Counts

When it comes to changing your lifestyle, sometimes it really is the thought that counts. When I wake up and the first thought is: "which way am I going to exercise?" I know that I am transforming. When I think about eating and I envision veggies, I know I am changing. I am not trying to drop a whole lot of weight at once, I am trying to change my life into a longterm, happy, healthy person. This person does splurge on holiday weekends (like I did for Pascha this weekend)

Opa! Greek food heaven. BUT this person will know how to make up for it, and does not beat themselves up. I do not believe in dieting, diets are for people just trying to lose weight quickly. I ran on Saturday and drank tons of water all weekend. All last week I was super conscious of what I ate and over the next few days I am making sure that I am staying on track. See, normal people splurge every now and then, but as long as its not your normal, you are ok. I am learning this. I will not feel guilty when I go off the grid.
I have lost 12 pounds in 3 months, which is one pound a week. This is exactly the goal I'm reaching for. I know I will reach my goal because I finally understand how to play this game: one at a time. Some might look at me and think that all this time has gone by but there aren't a lot of results. On the outside, 12 pounds might not look like a lot to you, but on the inside, it's a whole different world. All these new mentalities swarming through my head are powerful. They will bust out one day and it will be apparent on the outside too. You just have to believe in me. Tony Dungy says: "whatever goal you're trying to reach, break it down to the details and focus on them one at a time. Don't get sloppy and overlook the little aspects of life, because they add up to big things."
my mom and I at Pascha dinner

Thursday, April 12, 2012

This Whole Running Thing

I'm slowly beginning to understand why people choose running as their exercise. I can comfortably jog 2 miles now without stopping! I am honestly amazed with myself right now. If you told me that I could run 2 miles without stopping 3 months ago I would have laughed my ass of at you. NEVER in my WHOLE life have I been able to do that. Even when I was a college cheerleader I couldn't go that far without stopping. I have problems with endurance on the treadmill, but not when I'm outside. I get started and find a good pace that feels good and keep it there for the whole distance. I have learned that it is so much easier for me to finish my goal when I am reaching for distance and not time. I think I would have a harder time running if my goal was 30 minutes than if my goal was 2 miles. When you have a distance goal in mind, the time doesn't matter- you just run until you've achieved it. When I was on mile 1.80 I wanted to stop because I was tired. I asked myself: if you had gotten to mile 1.80 in the triathlon, with the finish line in sight, would you stop? No. So, why would you stop now?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Help Your House Help You

Meaning: Make adjustments to your troublespots that force you to change your bad habits. For example- eating on the couch in front of the tv...bad habit. I switched out my big comfy coffee table for this small one, filled it with junk, leaving only enough room for a drink.
Next: keep the table you eat at clean and clear of junk so it Is inviting. I keep magazines within reach so I don't get bored staring at the wall during the meal. I also have the table facing away from the tv. I have a small urban flat, so everything is pretty much all the same room, but I can still make small adjustments.

Monday, April 9, 2012

A Smile is Irresistible

My weekend was great. I've learned that Friday sets my tone for the following two days. Friday morning I went to the gym to practice my swimming. I did 200 yards in five minutes. Rested a little and did it again, this time in 4 min, 5 sec. Still need to get a lot faster, but those 5 seconds could matter a lot during the race! I got out of the pool and jumped on the stationary bike. I biked the whole 10 miles! My gym has one of those fancy bikes with the screen that makes it look like a video game- the handlebars move and the resistance matches the terrain on the screen. Then I hopped on the treadmill and ran/walked two miles. Do you see what I did? I completed the whole triathlon! It took me 1hr, 40mins. At that moment I realized: I'm really gonna do a triathlon! I was going so hard on the bike that I could feel the slight breeze of people walking by me. I had tons of energy at work and couldn't wait to train some more! Saturday I checked out some mountain bikes and bought a schwinn sidewinder to test out. I can definitely get up hills better, but I can tell it's cheap quality. The whole bike jumps nearly everytime I change gears. I'm not sure if i'm going to keep it. I am going to keep my jazzy new helmet though!
I biked 6 miles and then... And then... Ran two miles without stopping!! Can you believe it!? My feet were burning, but nothing could stop me. Have you ever noticed how hard it is to ignore someone smiling at you? But how easy it is to ignore mean looks? I ran downtown by the river and I could feel people giving me some nasty looks, but I didn't care, I just ignored them. Then, just as I was starting on mile two, this sweet lady shot me a huge smile! I had to return it and it brought tears to my eyes. It was like I could feel this complete stranger cheering me on,just from her smile. On Sunday my knees were a little tender, so I took the day off. With the exception of the
chicken fingers and pizza I ate friday, i've eaten really well all weekend. I was craving something sweet saturday night and I needed groceries anyway, so I went to the store. To cure that sweet tooth I got this most amazing frozen yogurt on the planet:
As I was putting my groceries away, I realized something: I didn't put anything away in my pantry. I literally did not buy a single thing that goes in dry storage. No chips, no crackers, no pasta... Nothing! I bought all fresh stuff! And I didn't even mean to do that! Cool.

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Chocolate, Chafing and Consummation

Chocolate: I ate 3 oreos last night because they were offered to me right as I was leaving work. Why? Because I love chocolate? No. I don't even really like sweets that much. There were cupcakes at work allll day and I never even wanted one, why did I eat the oreos? Chafing: did you know yours arms can chafe? I didn't either. Never in my life have I even considered it. I'm uber conscious of what pants I have on when I exercise as to prevent leg chafing, but apparently i will have to think about my tops too. I wore a tank top today for my workout so I could get some sun on my snow white limbs. The arm holes are a little lower than what I usually wear. All of a sudden I realized my left arm felt a little tender. It was rubbing against my excess sports bra fat! Ew. And it was only my left one... wierd. Consummation: today I decided to fast forward my tri training a little bit. I biked 5.5 miles followed immediately by a 1 mile run. The biking today was a little tougher than usual. I'm not sure why- it's the same bikeway I use all the time, but I did it. I hopped off my bike and started to run and my legs felt like lead. I am pretty sure that my feet were never more than an inch of the ground. It was tough as shit to complete. I thought about stopping so many times, but I kept thinking to myself: what's the point in stopping? You've come this far! My calves were on FIRE at the half mile mark. I thought for sure they were either going to burst into flames or cramp up at the same time. As soon as i finished the mile I cooled for a 1/5th of a mile. My walking- It looked real funny i'm sure. Have you ever had to walk with a both legs? I was like Nelly two times! But, I did it and that's all that matters. AND I got all sweaty icky and smelly! 

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Do Sweat It!

Let's be honest here, sweating is disgusting. It's smelly, it feels icky and it looks not cute. It has been a really long time since I sweated like I did today. My face was all red and splotchy- the way it used to be when I was in summer tennis tourneys back in high school. It felt so good. I was so proud that I looked icky, smelled bad and did not look cute! I tried to take a picture of myself, but it got deleted real quickly!! It was near 90 degrees today in Nashville and I went running around 11am. I was sweating and could feel my skin burning the minute I walked out the door. I walked a mile and jogged a mile. I can feel my speed picking up a little, even after just a few times of running. Well, I say running, but I can probably walk faster than the speed of my jog! My body cooled off a little quicker today too. I didn't have to take a freezing cold shower this time! I was still pretty hot for up to an hour after the run, but I can tell my body is handling it better. I didn't get the chance to exercise yesterday and I felt guilty all day. I love that the first thought when I wake up in the mornings now is exercise. I can feel it becoming a necessity to make daily routine. I woke up late today and a friend called, keeping me tied up longer than I needed to be. I almost didn't workout, but I forced myself to think about the options: exercise and not have time to dry hair? or: don't exercise, have time to fix hair, and mess up my routine and have to fight with myself for 2 days to get back in the zone. If I skip one day, it takes me 2-3 to get back into it. I chose to exercise. Yes, I've had a bad hair day today, but given the option, I'd rather have a million bad hair days than be fat for one day. I'm going to weigh myself soon, but I am terrified to do it. Even though I feel like I've gotten in better shape, I don't feel like I've lost any. I'm so scared of getting on the scale to see the number be up or the same. This causes me to sweat in a way that doesn't feel good! I don't want to get discouraged. For now, I'll just keep on sweating, the good kind!

To be able to...

Wear long flowy shirts because they're cute (not because I have to hide my wobbly bits).

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Mama Said Knock You Out

Ok, so how have I been doing lately? Pretty good, I'd say. I wanted to order pizza when I got home friday night but I denied myself. I told myself that if I still wanted one in 24 hours I could splurge. I still wanted one, so I got a frozen chicken one yesterday; it did the trick and wasn't near as calorific. Now, let's talk about this triathlon bizz-nass. Yesterday I drove out to Lebanon, TN where the event will take place. I loaded up the bike to test the 10 mile "flat" bike course, as they have it listed online.

Ummm... Yeah, it's flat... IN COMPARISON TO MOUNT EVEREST! Definitely not flat by any means, and me and the cruiser both almost fell out a few times. I completed 6.2 miles of the course, but there were a few hills I had to walk up. Is this legal to do in the race if I need to? I need a bike with gears for sure. I timed myself swimming on friday and I can do the swimming segment (200 yards) in 5 minutes, which is good, because I'll be slow with the other two events. I jogged twice last week, both times only being able to jog half a mile without stopping. This morning I got up, fixed a hearty breakfast:

And decided I was going to run farther today. And I did. I walked one mile and jogged a whole mile without stopping! Something significant happened while I was jogging. A really overweight man was helping a disabled woman get in a car. I judged him. Me! The person, who just said in her last post, that people are mean because they judge others! As soon as I mentally bitch slapped myself, he handed me a knockout rose and told me to have a blessed day.

I will keep this flower as long as I can to remind myself how it feels when people judge me and to never make someone else feel that way. You never know, they could knock you out. It's better to knock people out with kindness!