Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Bombshell in Progress

The way I look when I workout bothers the hell out of me. I am constantly pulling my shirt down, adjusting my sports bra to try and hide my back fat, pulling my pants up in case my shirt comes up, pulling my sleeves down, adjusting my hair, pulling my undershirt tank top up over the gross fat between my boobs and my armpits... it's so annoying!!! My crossfit gym posts our workouts on the website the night before. Most people just like being prepared when they walk in... I have to look at it so I can plan my outfit. I wish I could say it was for fashion purposes. For example: if we are going to be doing a lot of burpees I FREAK THE HELL OUT! Not because burpees suck, or because they hurt like hell, or because I can barely breathe after doing them---- but because there is nothing I can wear that will keep my wobbly bits from showing their fat ugly faces. I know that I shouldn't care, but I do. I HATE that I can't wear all the cute little shorts and tank tops that all the other girls wear. Again... I know I shouldn't care, but I do. I was Pinteresting the internet the other day and I found the cutest tank top that says "bombshell in progress." I was like OMG! I should TOTALLY get that! It's so cute! 

Yeah... it was basically made for Baby Gap.

Oh yeah, I really liked this one, too:

I have gotten to the point where people can take pictures of me and I am not totally disgusted. I'm definitely not happy about the way I look, but I don't feel the need to immediately delete them and threaten the lives of their creators. 

For so long when I'm roped  into a group picture, it's like Where's Waldo when it comes to finding me I swear. I hide behind everything and everyone I can. Let's play a game. Can you find me in these?

This is my favorite one lol. Trust me I'm there!

 It's so hard to tell people "no!" to  pictures. You just look like an asshole. Then everyone starts being all like: "shut up! you look so cute! just get in the picture! when you're old, you'll thank me! blah blah blah."

Like this one below. I didn't know these girls yesterday. I sat down to be sociable, meet some new friends, have a fresh conversation, then BAM! My coach comes around with his camera. I'm not going to be the weirdo that shies away from pictures in front of my new friends. This is about the worst picture ever. It has all the bad components: food, sitting down, beer, bad angle, post-workout sweat, gross cleavage.

Yesterday (Memorial Day), my gym had an event called "WOD for Warriors." This was an awesome workout done at crossfit gyms across the country, raising money for Team Red, White, and Blue. Team RWB helps veterans basically get back into the swing of things when they return home from deployment. It was an amazing way to spend Memorial Day! I left the beach early to compete and I was so stoked! I had a cute little patriotic bow for my hair and I had on a bright red shirt. I was ready to feel good about the way I looked, the cause I was working out for, and ready to rock the workout! Well, the shirt I had on kept coming up, my tank top kept riding up and I didn't finish the workout. There was a 20 minute cap and we worked out with a partner. I slowed us down so much because I just couldn't get the burpees done quick enough. 10 more seconds and we would have finished! I was so mad. But then I started thinking about how awesome it was that so many people came to the gym to workout on their holiday and the money we raised. I quickly got over my hard feelings. 

Then... the pictures and videos came. 

Yep, that's me right there front and center in the red. Thunder Back fats a go!

  Since I work in news, I had the advantage of getting us some event coverage. My editor thought it would be cool to have some shots of me in it when the story aired. I sat down to watch the news last night and I was HORRIFIED at the shots of me working out. Not just because my wobbly bits were jiggling but because the close up of me showed me adjusting and pulling at my shirt.


 It was really depressing to realize how much I let my looks affect my workout. If I'm not comfortable in how I look, I just can't concentrate on the workout. Seeing this video really put things in perspective for me. I am not working out to impress people or to win a fashion show. If my lady lumps offend someone they can eat it. A few weeks ago I wore a dress a little shorter than I probably should have and my spanx kept showing every time I barely bent over. I was getting sooo annoyed at everyone who kept telling me they were showing and that I needed to pull my dress down. I didn't give a rat's ass about my spanx showing and they needed to shut up about it. Why can't I have this attitude when I workout? I think it's because I care so much about crossfit now and I want to do it 100%. I want to look like the badass I feel that I am inside. I know that eventually I will be able to wear the cute outfits, but for now it's just hard to see how gross I look while I'm getting to that point. Or, while there's a "bombshell in progress." From now on I'm going to just focus on killing the workouts, not on how I look doing it.

Friday, May 24, 2013

Honeyed Heirloom Carrot Summer Salad

Heirloom carrots. What a perfect food. 

 Throw them in a salad and you have the perfect side dish to take to your Memorial Day cookout this weekend! This salad just tastes so EARTHY. You know what I mean? Like, you just feel like the earth is exploding in your mouth.

The What:
•Several leaves of Kale, washed well, chopped (6 or 7, I like Red Russian)
•Same amount of Romaine Leaves, washed, chopped
•2 cups of strawberries, sliced
•1 cucumber, diced
•1 tablespoon honey
•2 tablespoons olive oil
•Salt and Pepper
•6-7 Heirloom Carrots, peeled and sliced to bite sized pieces
•Balsamic Vinegar
•Parchment Paper
•1 Cup Bleu Cheese

The How:
 • Pre Heat oven to 400
•Peel and Slice Carrots to bite size pieces

•Whisk together honey and olive oil. You'll need to put some elbow grease behind it. Make sure the substances are well mixed. 
•Fold Parchment Paper to cook En Papillote
•Put carrots in the parchment bag, drizzle honey mixture over them and sprinkle salt and pepper generously. Shake bag to ensure good coverage of seasoning and honey mixture

•Bake for about 20 minutes. 
•While baking, you can mix together  kale and romaine, strawberries, bleu cheese, and cucumber.
•When carrots are done, throw them with excess juice in salad and toss thoroughly. Dress with balsamic vinegar to taste. 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Kale Chips

I am really slow to jump on the kale chip bandwagon. Frankly, I just think they look gross. How can baked lettuce be good, right? I'm so glad I decided to give it a go. So easy and surprisingly good. Let me give you fair warning: don't burn them. I learned that kale chips are kind of like cooking bacon. You have to take them out of the heat before you think they're done. I always burn the bacon. I forget that it keeps cooking for a little bit after you take it out of the pan. This is probably why I'm still single: I suck at cooking bacon. I burned a few pieces of kale because I just didn't think it was done yet. So gross. Don't burn them.

The What:

•5-6 Large Kale Leaves, torn from the stems. I used Blue Scottish Kale, but I think many variations will work just fine. 
•2 Tablespoons Olive Oil

The How:
•Preheat oven to 350
•Wash Kale thoroughly. This is especially important if you don't use organic. Non-organic can leave a pesticide residue on the surface when cooking. 

•Dry well. If you have a fancy salad spinner, use one of those. I had to go old school and let paper towels absorb all the water. 

•Toss in olive oil and salt. I do not suggest using a lot of oil or seasoning. You want to do everything you can to prevent them from burning.

•Line cookie sheets with parchment paper, lay leaves flat and spread apart. 

•Bake for about 15 minutes. Now, I know you're probably thinking that the end product doesn't look any different from the raw leaves. Trust me. They're good. 

With Success, Comes Flailure

Everyone always says that you have to fail to be successful. In that case I should be the most successful person in the world! I have failed at losing weight so many times, success HAS to be near. I was talking to a friend yesterday about how I seem to be re-entering the usual failure slump and how hard it is to get back in the game. What she said was very interesting. She pointed out that people WANT to hear about struggles and failure. Failure is what makes us human. The truth is that I haven't actually failed yet. I'm not finished yet, so how can I be a failure? These slumps are all a part of meeting of my goals. I HAVE to start learning from my mistakes so I can get to the finish line. The fact that I keep getting back up and pressing onward means that I will finish. That friend told me that seeing someone face the same struggles you are is not only refreshing, it is comforting. Since these slips and lapses are not technically failures, I'm going to name them "flailiures." Which is not a word and is really hard to pronounce (try it). To "flail" basically means you are thrashing, lashing, or striking about violently or erratically. I think my binges are kind of like just flailing about. They are violent and erratic and just look pretty crazy. Kind of like this:

 Well, readers- let me tell you how I've been flailing lately. 

Do you know what this picture  is? Taco Bell. I woke up to this this morning only to be reminded of my flailure last night. To celebrate the end of May Sweeps at work, several of us went out for drinks. Alcohol is the root of all my evil. I drink too much, eat crappy food and spend too much money. After too many bushwhackers and beers I stopped at Taco Bell on my way home. I was not hungry. I didn't want it. I just ate it because I...  I don't know why. I ate so well yesterday and I was feeling so great about my day! Until I started drinking.  It was just crazy. I flailed about. I have been self-loathing and beating myself up all day. To make up for yesterday's flailures, I have been super good today, eating more kale than any one person should probably ever consume in a day!

 I got really depressed at the doctor Tuesday because her scale is totally different from my scale at home. MY scale says I weigh 290. HER scale says I weigh 306. WTF?? So you can imagine how bad that hurt me. How in the hell can there be that big of a difference? I have been slacking on my IronTribe workouts and I've been eating HORRIBLY since I got back from the beach. I haven't been counting my calories and I have just felt like poo. My crossfit coach basically told me that I need to get over it and just do it. She is totally right. I have nothing stopping me and no one can do it but me.

Another thing that has been getting me down is that I want to go back to Hilton Head Health so bad! But I have no more vacation time this year and I don't meet FMLA criteria to take a personal or medical leave. Which is total B.S., btw. But I won't go there. My doctor and my coach both really put things in perspective for me this week. I CAN do this on my own and I will. It's not easy and I will go crazy from time to time. As long as I can come off that crazy train and move forward I will get to where I'm going.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

To Market to Market

There's just something about going to the farmer's market to buy my produce. I don't know if it's a mental thing or what, but it just seems to taste so much better than storebought! I got some fabulous heirloom carrots, beets, jalapenos, locally grown strawberries, cucumbers, kale, etc... I am so lucky to live in a such a great city with such an awesome market! It's right in the heart of downtown, so convenient, and it's huge!

The workers there are always so helpful, telling me what's in season, and whether or not it was grown around here. The strawberries were $2/pint. Can't beat that! And the lady just kept throwing berries in my bag. I got way more than I what I paid for.

I don't know where this mentality came from, but for the longest time I have thought that salads made from my house just don't taste as good as the ones bought from a  restaurant. Isn't that so dumb? Well, I overcame that stupid thought with this amazing salad I made for lunch. Romaine, strawberries, cucumbers, bleu cheese and balsamic vinegar. Just the vinegar. No oil. It was way better than any restaurant salad I've ever had!

I'm trying to come up with some cool new recipes for all my new homegrown treats. So, standby readers. Coming soon!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Red Russian Kale Breakfast Burritos

Apparently I just really love anything that is Latin-Inspired! I could eat nachos and chimichangas all day every day and never complain. Sunday morning I really wanted something spicy for breakfast. Spicy breakfast? Must mean burrito making time! Only makes sense! I apologize, though- I did not count the calories in this one, nor did I write down what I was doing as I was cooking. Please ask questions if there is something that doesn't seem right to you. I was also drinking wine and listening to Simon and Garfunkel, so I have no idea how long it took me to prepare or cook. But I do know that these were the tastiest damn breakfast burritos I've ever had!

Serves: 4

The What:

•1 Bell Pepper, chopped, put in two piles
•2 Tomatoes
•2 cloves of garlic, minced
•1 Jalapeno, chopped, put in two piles
•Half of one red onion, chopped, put in two piles.
•1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
•2 tablespoons hot sauce (your choice)
•1 cup shredded cheese (your choice, I used mozz)
•1 teaspoon cumin
•1 teaspoon chili powder
•1 teaspoon cayenne pepper
•4 wheat tortillas
•0 calorie cooking spray
•2 full leaves of Red Russian Kale, chopped
•4 Eggs
•2 tablespoons milk

The How:

Pre-Heat oven to 375 degrees

Red Sauce:
1) Heat Olive oil in pot. Once heated, add half of onions, both cloves of garlic, cumin, chili powder, and cayenne pepper. Simmer on low.
2) In food processor chop one tomato, half of jalapeno, half of bell pepper, hot sauce, little bit of water, and little bit of cornstarch. Once it resembles red sauce transfer to number one's pot. Cover and simmer on low, stirring occasionally.
•Once this sauce was done it looked like this (more like "orange sauce" really):

The Filling:
•Start this at the same time you start simmering the ingredients for the sauce. 
In skillet, saute on low with cooking spray: chopped kale, other half of the onions, other half of the bell pepper, other half of the jalapeno, the other tomato, chopped, salt and pepper to taste. 
•Scramble the eggs with the milk. Don't overcook them! Let them get as fluffy as you can. 
•Oh yeah- don't fuss with the veggies too much; just let them do their thing. They only need to be a little wilted.
•When I was ready to fill the tortillas with them they looked like this:

Now the fun part! Stuffing and rolling the burritos! I will not judge you if you tear the first 9 you try. Back in the day when I managed a restaurant I used to have to jump on the cooking line during rush hour. We sold burritos, so I've had a LOT of practice. Some folks get all fancy and steam the tortillas. Ain't nobody got time for that! You can either zap them in the microwave for about 15-20 seconds or you can heat them on a skillet. I prefer to just zap 'em. Here's my trick for rolling the perfect burrito: lightly spray both sides with cooking spray to keep it damp. Once you've done that, lay it flat, spoon your mixture in the very middle. Plop about one egg in each tortilla, then spoon 1/4 of veggie mixture on top. Here's what it should look like.

Roll it up, tucking in the sides as you go.

Place all 4 tortillas in baking dish, about a half inch apart from each other. Top with Red sauce, any leftover veggies, and cheese. Bake for about 20-25 minutes, or until cheese is all the way melted. 



Wednesday, May 15, 2013

WOD for Warriors

Hey Guys- my coach thinks I'm ready to compete in my first CrossFit competition! So, I am! This Memorial Day I will be participating in the nationwide "Wod for Warriors." Please help me raise money for the amazing cause!

Lori Hinkle's Wod for Warriors Fundraising Page 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Abercrombie and Bitch

By now, you have surely heard about the er, "views" of Abercrombie and Fitch's CEO, Mike Jeffries. If not, here ya go: Abercrombie & Fitch CEO doesn’t want ‘fat’ women wearing his clothes.

Basically, he thinks that fat women are not in the cool crowd and the cool crowd is who he wants in his clothes. For fear of stooping to his level, I will keep the majority of my opinions to myself here, but last time I checked: the cool people are the ones who don't feel the need to conform to cookie cutter standards. I also consider cool folks to be the ones too cool to waste their time judging others based on their looks. And let's be honest here, Mike Jeffries does not look cool. 

He looks like an old bitch in teenage clothes.

AND the last time I checked, Abercrombie and Fitch has not been cool since like... 2000. Even then, it was pretty trashy. Oh wait, I said I wasn't going to stoop to his level. My bad.

Moving on... this whole thing just pisses me off. A lot of young people do think Abercrombie and Fitch is cool and there are a lot of young, overweight people who desperately want to be cool. This douchebag doesn't help their cause. A & F markets to young people. How on earth can this dude and his company honestly go to sleep at night knowing that millions of young people are seeing this? Wasn't he a young person at some point? How would he feel if a big corporation told him he wasn't cool because he couldn't fit in their clothes?
  Hold on, I'm sorry... I can't stop looking at this picture of him. How old is this guy? 50? Why do you have frosted tips on your head? Why are you wearing highwaters? Ugh. Does he REALLY think he looks cool? I  hope that by 2013, kids these days are able to understand that being skinny does not make you cool. Being a good person makes you cool. I will admit that being healthy is way cool, but I know some plump folks who are pretty damn awesome. Young people have so much to worry about; their social status really should not be defined by some old washed out dude who doesn't understand what really matters in this life.

I have two pairs of Abercrombie and Fitch jeans in my "skinny closet" right now. I've been hanging on to them so that I can wear them again someday. Now that I know I won't be "cool" until I can fit in them, Mike Jeffries just gave them a one way ticket to the dumpster. If wearing his jeans makes me cool, then I'd rather stay  "not so cool."

While we're on this subject, check this article out: Abercrombie "Banishes" Girl With Prosthetic Arm To Storeroom Because She Doesn't Fit The "Look Policy"

Fried Food

I did not grow up in a house where we consumed a lot of fried food. In fact, we NEVER fried food. Ever. The only time I ate fried food was the occasional fast food run. I didn't even know how to fry something until I started working in the restaurant industry. Have you ever wondered just exactly WHY fried food is so bad for you? Here are the typical ingredients: egg wash, flour, meat or vegetable, oil. These are all ingredients I eat everyday. What does frying do that makes their end product so horrendous? You know I consume more olive oil than any other human on the planet, so why does dipping something in egg and flour followed by hot oil make it so horrible? The first obvious thought is the large amount of oil the food absorbs when it is fried. Well, today I did a little experiment. I poured 2 cups of vegetable oil into a pan and heated it on the stove. I dipped red onion slices (about half of one onion) in an egg wash (one egg), wheat flour, and then fried them. After I was done, there was about a cup and a half of oil left over. When I put the onion rings on a paper towel, it had to have soaked up at least a tablespoon of oil. So, that's really not THAT much oil that I ended up consuming, is it? I used so little flour and egg, that I know the calories weren't adding up there. So, why would these onion rings be SO bad for me? By the way, they were delicious. I made a cracked black pepper and garlic ketchup to dip them in- awesome!

As I was enjoying my plate of yummy horrible-ness I did a little research. Here are some articles I found:

•According to Aromatherapy for Women, by Maggie Tisserand, "heating oil for frying changes the molecular structure of the essential fatty acids and allows them to become 'oxidized'. These molecules are known as 'free radicals' and damage the surface of body cells". They are also significantly worse for cholesterol – and your waistline! The other problem, besides free radical damage, is trans fats. With a few exceptions – such as peanut oil – when oils are heated to that degree, trans fats are formed. A perfect example of these problems… set out a bowl of your favorite cooking oil, then fry something as normal, on high heat of course, and then set out a bowl of the same oil, post-frying. Once they fully cool, the uncooked oil will remain liquid, but the oil that has been fried in will at least partially solidify. This is not from food residue in the oil; it is a change in the basic structure of the oil itself. It will thicken the same way in your body — that is happening in your arteries! Most foods that you would deep-fry can instead be breaded and then baked. Corn flakes and cracker-based breading will give you a similar satisfying crunch since you don't have the crisping involved in the high heat and oil to cook the breading.(from examiner.com)

• It can make you obese. A Spanish study found that people who ate the most calories in fried food had a positive correlation with obesity. OK, maybe you're not shocked by this finding, but fried food is loaded with calories and fat. The breading on fried food soaks up the grease. It's kinda like drinking oil straight from the vat. Which you would never do. (from mindfuleats.com)

•If you want to make your own fried food, and you are a meticulous person, it can actually be healthy. It ain't easy though. Just don't bread the food, use clean peanut oil heated up to 365 degrees Fahrenheit slowly (no smoking), cook only a few pieces of food for the right amount of time, then drain on a rack. (from mindfuleats.com)

So, I guess fried food doesn't necessarily have to be the worst thing on the planet to consume. After all, there is this: Study: Fried foods not always bad for you, which claims it is the TYPE of oil you use that matters. I obviously, prefer olive oil, so I'm good, right? No, I won't get ahead of myself, but I will be more conscious of how to go about indulging in a plate of fried goodness

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Lordy Lordy I've Lost 40

40 something, that's my number. I started out around 330, could have been more- I'm not sure. I didn't really weigh at the beginning of my journey because I knew looking at the scale would do more harm to my heart than good. Good thing I decided to dust the ol' heartbreaker off this morning and hop on. 40-something down! This was great because I've been pretty down lately. Last week was a horrible 7 days that I won't even get into. Last weekend I was at the beach and do I even need to say I skipped the healthy choices? Seeing a new number today gave me just the motivation I needed to get me back in the game.

Monday, May 6, 2013

French Toast with Raspberry Maple Amber Compote

The scene below from 40 Year Old Virgin is hilarious, but it's so true: sometimes you just want some $%^&*#$ FrAnch Toast! 

The other day I felt her sentiment exactly. I made some french toast and it was the jam. I remember when I learned how to make french toast- I was totally shocked at how easy it was and I never looked at bread and eggs the same way again. How can bread dipped in eggs turn into something so yummy?? It's a mystery only the food gods can answer. Every time I attend a Sunday Funday brunch, there's always someone who orders the french toast, but I just can't bring myself to order it in a public place. It has such appeal, but can be a calorie-ridden disappointment if the restaurant doesn't give this dish the care it deserves. Since I'm trying to be all healthy and what not,. my french toast had to get creative. Obviously, I couldn't slather it in butter, powdered sugar and syrup, so how could I make it sweet enough to satisfy me? Fruit. Sounds like a plan. 

So, what did I come up with? 315 Calorie French Toast with Raspberry Maple Amber Compote.

The What:

2 slices of wheat bread (50 cals each)
3 tablespoons of egg whites
1/4 cup dark maple amber syrup
3/4 cup raspberries (I used thawed berries I had in my freezer. This worked well because there was lots of juice. If you use fresh, you might need a little water added to the compote)
0 Calorie cooking Spray
Pinch of granualted sugar

The How:

•Heat skillet over medium heat
Soak bread in egg whites with skillet is heating
•Make sure skillet is sprayed well, cook bread about 2 minutes on each side, or until bread is firm. 
•In food processor mix raspberries, syrup, and sugar until thick syrup forms. 
•Split compote in half, top french toast with half of mixture and save the rest for next time!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

260 Calorie Cheesy Sweet Potato Chips

I was craving Buffalo Wild Wings' cheesy potato chip thingys so I made my own healthier version: cheesy baked sweet potato chips! I sliced a sweet potato into very thin round "chips," tossed them lightly in a little bit of olive oil and salt and pepper. Spread them out evenly and thinly on a non-greased cookie sheet, bake at 350 until edges begin to curl up and they're slightly crispy. Sprinkle a thin layer of shredded cheddar on top and bake until melted. Use only 1 baked potato, 1/2 tablespoon olive oil, and 1/4 cup cheddar cheese and it should be about 260 calories.