Thursday, January 17, 2013

50 Shades of Food

Why does everything seem to revolve around food? When you go to a party where does everyone gather? The kitchen. What's in a kitchen? Food. When you want to catch up with an old friend what do you do? You go somewhere to get food. You go on a first date... you get food. Everything revolves around food. I was in a corporate meeting the other day learning about a new technology at work. One of the examples was how to send out an office form when you need information from your co-workers. The example he gave? Potluck lunch and what everyone is In a meeting today we discussed ATMs dispensing change. How will this be more convenient for everyone, according to the folks in my meeting? Well, obviously: if someone is going to pick up food for you, you can just give them a 10 instead of a 20. It's all about the food. Why is food so important to us? Why is it so comforting? Why is it so harmful? I think that really good memories are associated with food. A nice dinner to honor an anniversary, a team dinner to celebrate a big win, Thanksgiving dinner with family you rarely see... So, if all of these good things are associated with food, where does all the negativity come from? Are we just trying so hard to remind ourselves of all those happy moments? Why can't we just be patient and wait for the next big moment to celebrate? For me, food is not just a means of surviving. I love it. I love to experiment with new recipes, I love to try new items at my favorite restaurants, and I love to eat- plain and simple. I enjoy the whole drama of eating, whether it's something I cooked or something someone else cooked for me. A good friend and I had a conversation about eating. I admitted to him that sometimes I just have no control. If I want pizza I will eat pizza; it doesn't matter that I'm overweight and that I know I can't cave in and eat that stuff. If I want Taco bell I will get Taco Bell. Once the craving hits it is almost impossible for me to tell myself no. He said that he just didn't understand that at all. He says he cannot imagine just eating for no reason and not being able to control it. Well, honestly, I don't understand it either. I also don't understand why so many people turn to crack and meth to solve their problems. Or why people drink themselves into oblivion, and then get in cars and kill people. Why do we do things to ourselves that we know are harmful? Are we all sadists and masochists? It's like some creepy part of my brain enjoys me hurting myself and then beating myself up for it later. At what point do you get tired of hurting and learn to love the feeling of saying no to yourself? When something good happens to me I feel happy. When I lose 5 pounds I feel happy. Can I steal parts of those happy moments and store them away to use them when I want to hurt myself with food? It's a constant battle. Especially when the whole world seems to be made of food. I mean- even the damn moon looks like cheese:

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