Thursday, February 9, 2012
Nyctophobia: Severe fear of the darkness(wikipedia). There's something that lurks in the darkness waiting to get me...to grab me against my will. Every night I scream no! But it wins. Sometimes I can fight it off, but I know it will be back the next night with a vengeance...watching, waiting, creeping...I dread the darkness all day long and have to scheme how to protect myself against this monster. What is this terrifying creature of the dark? Late night cravings!! Sounds silly, I know, but it is scary to me. It is scary to me when I can't resist my urges to binge. I am slowly but surely learning to stop them, but they still happen. Last night I went into to the grocery store when I got off work. A) I went to the grocery store instead of Taco Bell=yay B) I got pita chips instead of frozen pizza=yay C) I got fried chicken nuggets from the deli section and ate them all=boo. Want to hear something else that's kind of weird? My body has started to communicate with me. When I eat fried foods, too much pizza, nachos, etc. I get really bad heartburn and indigestion. As I was perusing the chip aisle, I actually felt the acid reflux sensation creep up my esophagus. Whoa!!! How crazy is that? So, I can think about bad food and my body can do that as a reminder? That's kind of cool. But, back to the nature at hand...I really do have to struggle every night when I get off work to resist eating late night crap. My schedule doesn't help. I work 1:30-10:30 and I try my hardest to eat normally. I eat breakfast early, have lunch noon-ish, snack, and eat dinner around 7/8. But, when I get off work at 10:30 I'm hungry again! And I can't go to sleep as soon as I get off work, I have to have plenty of time to decompress and settle down. I usually don't get to bed until around midnight. Hey- if you get off work at 5 do you want to go to bed at 6pm? Probably not. Until I conquer this thing, I continue to fear my inability to beat the cravings.
Posted by Lori Renee' at 7:24 PM