Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Writing the Wrongs

I learned so much from Lisette Cifaldi's Food Addiction Recovery Workshop at Hilton Head Health this weekend, it is hard for me to know where to begin. I have several wonderful posts coming your way, but I will start with this letter that I wrote to my body. I am feeling really good about my future in this journey and I think that I have a whole new set of knowledge that you will benefit from. I encourage you to take a few moments to write a letter to yourself as well. You might be surprised at the words that appear.

Dear Body of Mine,

         First of all, thank you for putting up with everything I've put you through. I don't deserve to still be in such great health. You clearly love me way more than I love you. I continue to abuse you over and over again, but you are still there for me- standing tall. I never thought that I would be the abusive partner in a relationship; I've always considered myself a pretty loving and caring person. I have not loved you. I haven't given you the 5-star treatment  you deserve. I have called you horrible names. I have made fun of the ugly scars that I have given you (stretch marks).
          I want to change our relationship. I want to be healthy. Please forgive me for the repeated abuse I have inflicted on you. You don't deserve it. This is a new me and you. While I can't undo the physical damage I have riddled you with, I CAN release the heavy layers I've laid between us. All I ask is that you continue to bless me with your wonderful gift of life until we reach our goals. 

Love,
Lori

I mean honestly, if I spoke to my friends the way I spoke to myself and my body I would have NO friends left. No one would stick around with the way I treat myself! 

There are so many things that I am capable of doing that I don't give my body proper credit for:

-Triathlons and 5ks
-Running, hiking, kayaking, etc...
-Crossfit
-LIVING
-Smiling
-Writing
-Cooking
-Reading
-Walking
-Tennis
-Cello

I am so grateful that I am STILL able to do so many of my favorite things! After the DECADE of abuse I have put my body through, I really don't think that I deserve to still be able to do so many wonderful active things.I am so thankful that I still have my health today. Tomorrow? I will wake up and I will still be obese, and at risk for diabetes and heart disease. But I cannot continue to let myself think like that. For me to overcome this, I HAVE to "write the wrongs" and make things right. A negative body image will ONLY make things worse. 

Instead of focusing on everything I hate about my body, I need to focus on the things I love. We were supposed to come up with 5 things, but I can only come up with 3 for right now. I am working on this. Eventually I will fall in love with my body all over again and I will have hundreds of things I love!

-My quads (that's right- I love my killer quads)
-I love that I am strong
-My smile

Positive body image will happen over time and it is not something I can just "fake it until I make it." If I am feeling disgusted by the way I look, I can't fake liking it. I have actually cancelled plans because I simply did not like how I looked in anything I tried on. 
I HATE feeling great about the way I look and then seeing a picture of me later. It crushes any positive vibes I have going. Which... makes me eat.

It will take some time for me to right all the wrongs I have created, but for the meantime I can look at them head on and "Write the Wrongs."

1 comment:

  1. This is a very good post, very important to be honest about these things. Have you ever read a book called Psycho-cybernetics? It's the book that helped me change my self image and lose weight :)

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