Monday Monday

Can you think of a better way to start a Monday?

Neither can I! Down 5.1 pounds since my last log on!! I ran two miles today and it was good. I actually felt like I was jogging, instead of just a pitiful fast walk/limp. There are these steps by the river that are usually hard for me to get up and down while I'm running, but today they were not a challenge. Notice I didn't say easy? I picked up the pace a lot, but I still paced myself and controlled my breathing when I felt it getting short. As I was finishing up my first mile, some random man asked if I was drinking enough water! I answered him "yes" and he was like: "good, just wanting to make sure!" Who does he think he is!? Moving on... as I was finishing up the second mile, some random woman said: "you need to carry water with you if you're going to be out running!" I politely said "thank you" and kept going. At first, I was all like "who do these people think they are!? Do I look like I'm dying or something? Do they think I'm a child?" I felt fine; actually, I felt great! My pace was good, I wasn't breathing heavily and I was running lightly on my feet. But then it occurred to me that the lady had said: "when you're running." She did not say jogging. I couldn't help but smile :) I got home and looked in the mirror... no wonder these randos were telling me to drink water! I two had deep purple triangles under my eyes. Mu whole face and neck were as red as a tomato and I looked really rough. Back in high school my basketball coach would pull me out of the game because she thought I was too tired because my face was so red. My tennis coach used to yell at me to hydrate because my face was so red. It used to make me so mad! But now, it just makes me happy that I'm reaching that point in exercise that causes my face to get so red. I will make sure I'm hydrating enough, I promise! I got a little nauseous about an hour after my run. Wonder why?

April Blunders Bring May Wonders

Ok, so April hasn't been my best month. I had Taco Bell friday night, I haven't worked out hardly at all the last 2 weeks and i've been caving in to goodies at work. I have had tons of people tell me recently they can tell i've lost weight. Not sure how it's come off recently, but this has motivated me to get back in the game120%. My foot hasn't been hurting at all, so I started back on P90X2 this morning. It felt good. I'm determined to make the month of May my best one yet. It is the month of my triathlon after all! (May 19th for all you cheerleaders wanting to come :)
Here are some pics: week one, taken back in January:
Week 16 taken today:

Change of Faces

This picture was taken in the fall:

This picture was taken this past weekend:

Notice the shrinking double chin? Babysteps. I recently had to reiterate to a close one that I am not looking for any "quick fixes" or temporary diets. Yes, it is sooo frustrating to see slow progress when you want the end result more than anything in the world! But progress, it still is. This is so much more than just about losing weight. I am slowly but surely learning how to live, eat, and play like a normal, healthy person. I yearn for the day that I can eat at parties without feeling judged, eat a cookie without feeling judged, or not feel judged any time I eat in public. The other day I was out with a friend and I heard some douchebag say: "you are a large woman" to his friends, directed at me. Surprisingly, it didn't hurt my feelings and all I could think of was: I wonder if he would still say that if he had any idea of the steps I'm making to improve my life? If he knew how hard this is for me? Or how many positive changes i've made? But then I thought, no- because he's just some worthless asshole that only feels better about himself by making others feel bad. But then, I had yet another thought. Him and I are not so different. He obviously struggles with something inside himself and his way of mending it is hurting others. I struggle with my own problems and I mend them by harming myself through binge eating and being lazy. Either way, we both harm someone. I'm going to change face next time I am facing a problem. I will think of that douchebag, and instead of harming myself, I will do something nice for someone.

Off the Grid

I'm sorry I've been off the grid the past few days, but I am recovering from a nasty stomach bug. I have no idea what I ate/drank that got me sick, but if I knew, I would cast it off to the Bermuda triangle. I went to a friend's surprise b-day party Saturday night and got sick twice on the way home! Super embarrassing because a co-worker was driving me home. Yes, I was drinking, but I was NOT toasted (I swear, Officer!) It was so mortifying. I continued to get sick all throughout the night and next day. Then the next kind of sickness came (I will spare you the details, I promise- so it is safe to continue reading). I had a fever all night Sunday and had to call in sick to work Monday morning. By Monday afternoon I felt so much better and went in to work for a few hours. Today is Tuesday and I am still a little queasy, but I think I'll survive! Ok, so where was the eureka moment? I would say at any given point while I was in bathroom misery... we put so much shit into our bodies! There is no telling what made me sick, but it was the worst feeling I have ever had. I've never been really big into the whole organic "clean eating" phenomena, but I can promise you that I will take more caution in the foods that I'm consuming. I managed a restaurant for 7 years, so I understand how hazardous food really can be. I Cloroxed my house several times and I even took care to wash my strawberries twice this morning! How is it possible that something essential for our survival can also kill us or make us very sick? Have you ever thought about that? We have to have food to survive, but not just any food. We must make our food decisions wisely and responsibly or else the necessity we call food could kill us. You might not die from food poisoning, but you could die from a heart attack after years and years of bad food in your system. You could get diabetes from a poor diet, the list goes on and on. Enjoy food, but enjoy it responsibly. It is okay to indulge, but make up for it. And be smart with your indulgences! One of the things I am striving to learn, and I think I am doing well with- is learning how to handle splurging. Everyone does it, you just have to know how to balance it.

Friday

Once again I managed to go to the grocery store and come home to a still entry pantry. That's right- everything I bought was fresh and needed to be stored in the fridge! That yogurt up there is amazing. Seriously, if you have a Kroger, you gotta get this stuff. So yummy. My friend Beth and I went hiking this morning at Radnor Lake. The trails are pretty tough for me. I've only done them three times, but I could really feel an improvement this time. It's a good workout for my quads, which I definitely need for biking. Beth is super in shape, so I felt bad for slowing her down. I'm pretty stoked- beth, amy and I are going to try to hike every friday morning. I love that I have friends that love doing stuff like that. Tomorrow morning i'm meeting another friend at a nearby trail to do some walking. Active friends are happy friends! :)

Feeling Good

I saw a pin on Pinterest that said: "That moment when you know people will be able to tell you've lost weight." I had one of those moments! I was in a jeans kind of mood today and I felt great in them! It has been YEARS since I've been confident about the way I looked in jeans. One of the girls I work with was very complimentary about how I look today. She said that she could really tell I've lost weight! There is no better feeling!

Ok, now for some food chat. Don't you just love a fantastic meal that requires little to no effort? Me too. Here's a new fave. Queso Fresco and Chipotle baked salmon with hazelnuts. I know it sounds fancy, but so easy and healthy! Just a few easy steps... Preheat oven to 400, spray pan with olive oil, place frozen or thawed salmon on pan, spread Laughing Cow Queso Fresco and Chipotle cheese spread on top of salmon (it's only 35 cals per serving!), then sprinkle with hazelnuts. Bake until internal temp of salmon is 145 degrees. I paired it with a spring mix salad with light creamy baslsamic dressing. Yummo!

The Thought That Counts

When it comes to changing your lifestyle, sometimes it really is the thought that counts. When I wake up and the first thought is: "which way am I going to exercise?" I know that I am transforming. When I think about eating and I envision veggies, I know I am changing. I am not trying to drop a whole lot of weight at once, I am trying to change my life into a longterm, happy, healthy person. This person does splurge on holiday weekends (like I did for Pascha this weekend)

Opa! Greek food heaven. BUT this person will know how to make up for it, and does not beat themselves up. I do not believe in dieting, diets are for people just trying to lose weight quickly. I ran on Saturday and drank tons of water all weekend. All last week I was super conscious of what I ate and over the next few days I am making sure that I am staying on track. See, normal people splurge every now and then, but as long as its not your normal, you are ok. I am learning this. I will not feel guilty when I go off the grid.
I have lost 12 pounds in 3 months, which is one pound a week. This is exactly the goal I'm reaching for. I know I will reach my goal because I finally understand how to play this game: one at a time. Some might look at me and think that all this time has gone by but there aren't a lot of results. On the outside, 12 pounds might not look like a lot to you, but on the inside, it's a whole different world. All these new mentalities swarming through my head are powerful. They will bust out one day and it will be apparent on the outside too. You just have to believe in me. Tony Dungy says: "whatever goal you're trying to reach, break it down to the details and focus on them one at a time. Don't get sloppy and overlook the little aspects of life, because they add up to big things."
my mom and I at Pascha dinner