Mean Girls (and Boys)

I have been called fat my entire life. Even when I was a size 8 cheerleader and soo not fat, I got made fun of for being fat. I've always been able to just tell people to shove it and move on, but lately it's really been pissing me off. I think it's because I am now in my late 20's and i've realized that people are still just as mean now as they were in junior highschool. I was recently informed that a former co-worker called me a "water buffalo." This person is someone I loved and trusted. This is not something you would say to a friend. I want to take a moment to genuinely thank everybody that has been supportive of me along my journey and that has shown me unconditional love. I just can't imagine how self conscious people must be that they have to put others down the way they do. I have been sorting through my life the past few months doing a lot of spring cleaning. I've thrown away toxins from my body, food in my house that's bad for me, i'm trying to throw away bad habits, and now I think it's time to throw away bad people. I don't want to be fake with anyone, and I don't want anyone to be fake with me. Either come into my life and support me or go away. If you are there for me, I will be there for you. My mom calls bad friends "basement friends" because they are constantly bringing you down. This whole weight loss journey is so much more than dropping weight for me. I have to learn how to surround myself with all the good and shiny things that keep me at my best. Mean girls and boys are not good or shiny.

Running!!! @#$#^%$%^U&$%^@#

I don't get it- how do all you people run? I've attempted to run the past two days and so far the longest distance I've been able to go without stopping is half a mile. I walked a mile and half today and then finished it off with jogging the last half mile. I was so worn out I was still sweating the first hour I was at work. AND i took a cold shower! When I say run, it was more like I was "yogging." You know, jogging with a silent j. I have a great running route right outside my front door. From my front door, to a little past Broadway, it is exactly one mile. There are few good little hills along the way too. It felt great being out there in the sun, but i have to admit, I am officially freaking out about the running part of this triathlon. But, one good way to look at is that if I can complete a quarter of the running segment already and its only week one, than that's gotta be pretty good, right? I was supposed to swim today, but after last night's attempt, I decided that I needed to be on my feet today.

Doing this Thang

I biked 6.71 miles yesterday! I'm amazed that i'm not even sore today. I mapped out the biking course for the triathlon and I think i'll be able to do it with my cruiser bike. Yesterday I learned that there will be other challenges than just the uphill segments. Braking a bike without gears is killer on your thighs when you've already gone 4 miles! I m going to have to train going downhill a lot before i'm ready. I also noticed that I had a deathgrip on my handlebars- I'll need some gloves. Today I train for the running segment. My goal is to just finish two miles, even if I have to walk a lot of it. I've done very well with eating so far this week. Last night I had a 270 calorie lunchable for dinner and it was surprisingly filling and delicious! Sometimes, you just gotta switch it up! [image_0] I'm learning that I need new habits when I get off work so I don't eat when I get home. I've been painting my nails a lot the minute I get home; this is great because I don't want to rummage through my pantry with wet nails. It's perfect timing too, because if I make it over that 30 minute hump when I get home, i'm good. It's those first 30 minutes i'm home that I battle with. What kind of habits have you formed when you're at home to keep you from mindlessly eating?

Food.

I know I've said this a few times already, but I am so excited that my cravings truly have changed. It is amazing to me how our bodies communicate with us when we give them the chance. I don't eat a lot of meat as it is, but with it being Great Lent, I've especially had to follow my body's cues. I was really craving protein, so I loaded up the crockpot with black beans, onions, green peppers and seasoning and made a delicious black bean soup. Of course, I topped it with sour cream (light) and some cheddar. The old me would've either eaten a burger or chicken fingers.
I get so excited about packing my lunches for work! I look forward to chopping veggies and whipping some yummy dipping sauce. Having fun containers and lunch bags makes it even better :)

Escaping Reality

My triathlon training began today! I am so pumped about this! I swam half a mile and it felt goooood. I could've kept going, but one of the downsides of living and working out downtown is those damn parking meters! I had to leave and feed the beast. There's just something about swimming that sets me free. I think I have finally found my workout niche. For some it's running, for some it's biking, but me... swimming. I am 100%confident about the swimming portion of the tri, semi-confident about the biking segment. It's the running that is giving me night sweats. I've never been a good runner. I've always been a better sprinter that an endurance runner. I ran about 50 yards on Saturday and thought I was going to pass out for sure. I have started a TRIVOLUTION!!! I've got several girlfriends that are all pumped about doing it with me. One friend actually told me that I am her idol. IDOL! When I asked her why she told me how proud she is of me and she is amazed that I am up for this challenge. All my skinny friends keep telling me that I would kick their ass in the race and I keep telling them that they're crazy. "Just wait 'till you see me attempting to run, then you'll see." I hear all the time from people that they are so impressed with my swimming skills. And to me, I keep thinking "wth are you talking about? I don't have any swimming skills!" Swimming just comes so easy for me. A guy I know asked me if I can do the butterfly and I was like "duh." He was impressed. I think I finally believe people when they tell me that I am a talented swimmer. So, I guess I found my escape from reality. Kenny Chesney's song "Reality" kept popping in my head while I was swimming today, especially the line: "everybody has their way to somehow escape." Here's the link to the song if you are clueless as to what I'm talking about: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jWgIIqE6rro

I'm Giving it a Tri!

This time last year I had started my training for a triathlon. I had one I was going to sign up for but then I moved. The mile I swam on Sunday has inspired me to start my training again. I actually found a mini triathlon I'm going to sign up for. It's in May. At work today I told a few folks about this and they were just amazed. These are the little things that keep me motivated and encouraged. I mapped out the bike trail and the running trail and I cannot wait to start training for it! It is a really miniature triathlon: 200 meter pool swim / 8.5 mi bike / 2 mi run. I am hoping to get this done in an hour and a half. I am a little worried about my bike and if I'll be able to make up the hills. One of them looks pretty nasty. My bike is a cruiser, so I have no gears! I'll give it a shot and here's hoping!

Just Keep Swimming, Oh Yeah

I swam a mile yesterday! It took me damn near an hour, but I did it. I haven't done this in close to a year. All I kept saying to myself was just keep swimming, just keep swimming, oh yeah yeah yeah (please tell me you got the Finding Nemo reference there). I felt really good about it, especially when a super in shape guy jumped in my lane and started up a conversation about how he was going to try and make it through a kilometer (which is 40 laps in my gym's pool. A mile is 66). I thought to myself: a kilometer? I've almost finished that and I'm not even tired yet! I was on lap 33. He didn't finish the kilometer. Not that I was counting, he told me he couldn't do it. I love it when me, all 300 pounds of me, out exercises someone that looks like they're in great shape. The super in shape dude also told me that he had already biked 5 miles that day and was pretty tired. I can bike 5 miles no problem! Was this dude sent into my lane just to boost my ego? Because it just doesn't seem physically possible that I could keep up with him on a bike. I'm pretty sore today, but it's a good kind of sore, the kind that proves to me that I can exercise like a hard core athlete and my body doesn't reject it. I went to the grocery store last night and I am so excited about all the healthy meals I'm going to cook this week (recipes/pictures coming soon). With all this basketball I've been craving chicken wings bad. I baked some last night and they were really good. They're not as tasty as sports bar wings, but they were good and weren't fried. I'm still nursing my foot (no, I haven't gone to the doctor yet), so I'm still off of P90x2. But you know what? I cannot WAIT to get back started on it again! I love how I am actually looking forward to exercise and cooking healthy foods now. I also love that I can exercise hardcore, impressing people that judge me on the outside. I can't wait to see what fitness goals I can accomplish once I get this layer of blubber off of me!