I've Gained 5 Horrible Pounds

The good, the bad, the ugly. That's what this journey is all about. Learning to keep the good going, controlling the bad, and stopping the ugly. Lately I'd say I've been bad. Not totally ugly, because I have had spurts of good. I haven't been exercising as much as I need to be and my food intake has been less than perfect. I met with my trainer on Friday for an assessment. I've gained 5 pounds since my last one, lost an inch in my waist, gained an inch and a half in my hips, upped my BMI, and slightly lowered my body fat percentage (.02%, so for those of you about to say I probably gained muscle. Not really). 

As you can imagine, this was a shitty way to start my weekend. I realized I had one of two choices: get depressed and beat myself up... or get good again. I decided to return to good. The first step? Discover why I've been bad. That was easy: work has been a little frustrating lately. I am an extremely career driven gal and work means everything to me. That could be a part of the problem. So how have I been "dealing" with this problem? Late night snacking. So, now I have 3 problems: 1) Letting work frustrate me 2) Forming a bad habit of late night snacking and 3) 5 pounds that I busted my ass to get off have landed their ugly faces on my hips (literally). 

When MC (my coach) measured me she asked if I could feel the gain. I honestly told her no. I thought I would have lost some! Crazy. I am so glad I was able to see this for what it is. On Thursday night (night before my assessment) I went to the store to get dishwasher detergent after work. I came out with this:

See that bag of chips? I ate it all. See that dip? Licked it clean. The soda pop? Drank half of it. I did actually need coffee creamer. Once I stepped into the grocer, washing dishes immediately became the least of my priorities. All I could think about was what kind of shit can I get to snack on? Next thing I knew I had almost forgotten dish washing liquid, was at the Redbox, and then on my couch mindlessly snacking and watching Safe Haven. Snacking until my hand came out of the bag empty handed. Snacking + Nicholas Sparks? What am I? A masochist?

At my assessment all I could think about was if I HADN'T binged on chips, dip, and soda, how different would the results would have been? My chip chomping session began about 11pm Thursday night and my assessment was at 7am Friday morning. I hate to be inappropriate here, but I hadn't had my, er, "post-coffee routine" yet if you know what I mean... Maybe the gain was faux??

After realizing that I may never know the answer to that, I admitted to my coach (actually both coaches, I think it was a planned intervention lol) that I have been doing the dirty late at night: eating instead of solving what's bothering me. They both suggested some alternative snacks at night. One of them said hard boiled eggs and the other chimed in in agreement. At first I thought they were kidding. Who the hell ACTUALLY snacks on an EGG? Well, these two fitness queens were dead serious. 

Ok, I'll try it:

Uhmmmm... Not convinced. 

S & P, 0 cal hot sauce should be good...

I was pleasantly surprised. Cooking the eggs gave me time to think about what I was doing. After I got over the initial hump of needing to snack, I was able to eat because I was a little hungry. Because I had it portioned, I was forced to stop before I ate enough to turn myself into an angry hen. 

Next step? Make a plan. 5 pounds down by June 28th. I got do that. Do the good that got them off in the first place. Control the bad, and block out the ugly. 

Getting Fit With "Fitspiration" and SMART Goals

Remember a while back when I asked for a few guest bloggers? My wish was granted! Michelle Pino with Skana Spa in Upstate New York emailed me with this awesome idea. Below you will find her entry on a creative way to set some goals. Her "fitspiration" board can be a source of motivation for wherever you might need a reminder. I'm going to make one and set it as my background on my computer. The one I made for myself is at the very bottom. So get to reading, and thank Michelle for taking time to share some ideas!!

Getting Fit With "Fitspiration" and SMART Goals

As many health experts know, there are a lot of people who want to get physically fit yet fail to do so. While the reasons why they are not successful in their ventures can be diverse and complicated, one of the primary factors that entails failure is a poorly devised goal. In order to be successful in accomplishing a fitness goal, it should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. When all of these elements are present, the individual who has devised the goal is much more likely to accomplish it.

In addition to making use of SMART goals to accomplish one's fitness goals, making use of fitspiration principles can be advantageous. In short, fitspiration is a principle, which involves creating an inspiration board as a tool to motivate you as you attempt to exercise and make healthier choices. As many know, it's easy to say that one is going to start eating well and working out consistently. Making these goals a part of your permanent lifestyle, however, can be more challenging. This is the case for several reasons, including the fact that habituation often leads to the maintenance of unhealthy behaviors. Creating an inspiration board can help break the ugly cycle created by these bad habits, however.

While the idea of an inspiration board might seem complex, it's not. The inspiration board is a board you can decorate with images or photos of places, people, or things that make you want to jump up and work out. You can select your images from a wide range of places, including printouts from internet pages and fitness magazines. When you choose your photos, make sure you select ones that really motivate you rather than simply selecting a picture of a spinning machine because it pertains to fitness. If, for example, a famous athlete with great deltoids inspires you to get excellent arms, select that image. And if eating healthy is the aspect of getting fit that you find fun or intellectually stimulating, select an image of a beautiful, colorful salad chock full of fresh fruits and nuts.

After you select the images you want, choose your favorite and place it at the inspiration board's center. This will be your "anchor" image, or the one that functions as the theme for the entire board. Once you've selected your anchor image, you can place all of the other images you've selected around it. You'll probably find that some of the images are not thematically related to the anchor image. You can discard these or save them for use later. After you've arranged all of the remaining images in an aesthetically appealing way around the anchor image, you can hang your inspiration board in a highly visible place. In so doing, you'll have a constant motivating factor, which will encourage you to work out. As your fitness goals change, you may find it advantageous to remove some images and put up new ones.

For many people, accomplishing fitness goals seems impossible. It doesn't have to be, though. By using fitspiration principles and SMART fitness goals, you can start feeling great and looking good in no time. Good luck!      

Here is an example:

Photo sources:

·         Everyone has his or her own source of inspiration, but to me the outdoors is my inspiration, so I’m using this as the anchor of my motivational board.  As part of my initiative to spend more time doing activities outdoors, I’ve started to learn to golf at Atunyote, a New York golf club near my work. I usually golf 9 holes, it’s nice to be able to spend most of the time walking. What I like about it is that it’s a leisurely sport, nothing too strenuous.  

·         Love this quote, so simple, yet so true! Source: Do What You Love

·         An easy to way to stir up some motivation is to treat yourself to some new workout gear!  Choose fun colors that will make you excited to show them off at the gym! Source: Sneakers

·         Your body needs nutritious foods as fuel for when you exercise.  A great source of clean eating recipes is Clean and Delicious.  They have delicious recipes along with instructional videos including a clean chicken & veggie stir-fry recipe. 

·         Park of my initiative to spend more times outdoors this summer is to go for simple walks, or a leisurely bike ride.

Here is the Board I made for myself:

This Happiness quote is one of my favorites. It is such a good reminder to enjoy things on the way, instead of focusing on the end result. The top right photo of food is a picture from Hilton Head Health, to remind me about my awesome experience that yummy food doesn't have to be food that is bad for you.  Under that is Camille Leblanc-Bazinet, my "girl crush" lol and Cross fit queen. She is my health and fitness role model. To the bottom left: kettlebells. For crossfit, no surprise there. In the bottom middle: a creppy picture of folks in the swimming leg of an ironman race. I will complete and IronMan before this life escapes me. and finally, to the bottom right: my happy place, the beach. 

Want More of Me?

I can't figure out how to get a widget for my Vine profile, but if you want to follow me on there my profile looks like this:

I will be posting food and fitness videos on there before they make the blog, or the Facebook, or the Twitters, Pinterest, Tumblr, or whatever other user-generated website I get bullied into joining! Lol. 

But just do you know, I might post a few newsie videos too, since my smart phone    ain't so smart about letting me synch more than one twitter account! Or maybe it's me! Ha!

P.S. I have some awesome posts in the works for ya! Including a vey special guest blogger! So stay tuned!!

115 Calorie Breakfast Tacos

I know, I know... I have a serious obsession with turning everything I cook into some sort of Latin-inspired dish. This morning I had every intention of just making a boring plate of scrambled egg whites. Next thing I knew, I was adding hot sauce, onions, bell peppers, and cayenne pepper. This breakfast "taco" was so shockingly awesome I may just make another one for dinner tonight! I don't think I'll ever use sour cream ever again. I have been substituting fat free Greek yogurt for about a year now and I absolutely love it.

The What:

 •Wheat Pita (I prefer Joseph's- they are 60 cals each)

•1 tablespoon of nonfat plain Greek Yogurt

•Handful of diced bell peppers and onions

•3 tablespoons of egg whites (I used the kind in the carton)

•Teaspoon of calorie free hot sauce

•Cayenne Pepper to taste

The How:

Ok, just kidding. I'll explain. I was experimenting with my Vine App :)

•Scramble egg whites with hot sauce, cayenne, bell peppers, onions, and salt and pepper. Set aside on paper towel to drain.

•Heat pita (it might look gross, but I just used the same skillet I cooked my eggs in. It's all going to the same place anyways). 

•Put egg mixture in middle of pita, plop the Greek Yogurt on top, fold like a taco and enjoy!

Fat Thoughts

I don't think skinny people understand how many everyday things big people have to take in to account. 

Only my fellow overweight folks will understand the fear brought on by one of these:

Or these:

Yesterday afternoon I caught a matinee with some of my girlfriends (Fast and Furious 6 btw. It was awesome :). They were already seated in the theater when I got there. As one of them motioned over for me to sit next to her, I had a mild panic attack. Since it was a theater, it obviously had theater seating...the worst.  I felt a wave of panic come on as I quickly had to find a discreet strategy for not knocking her drink and popcorn over with my butt and or fupa as I wiggled into the seat. To my surprise: 2 seconds later I was comfortably seated and her drink and popcorn were spared. The seat was big enough and I actually wasn't hanging over into her personal space. A few pounds down works wonders, especially in a crisis like this! It is absolutely ridiculous that these thoughts constantly swim in and out of my brain. I am PARANOID that I'm going to break a barstool, or that one of those stupid plastic patio chairs will stay attached to my overflowing bottom sections when I get up.

 Sometimes getting dressed is a better workout than actually working out. Have you ever tried to put on pantyhose at 300 pounds? I swear I look like Moist from Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog by the time my fat rolls are secure into a pair of tights.

Which by the way, I just realized that he plays Howard Wolowitz on The Big Bang Theory (The More You Know).

 A group of friends and I rented a pontoon this weekend for a day on the lake. It was so much fun but there were those lingering "fat girl" thoughts going in and out of my head all day. There was a slide on the back of the boat that everybody enjoyed but me. My best friend swore I could slide just fine, but I refused to face the embarrassment of either breaking it or getting stuck halfway down. Folks were doing flips off the top of the boat, a trick I would have OWNED had I not let my rocking gymnast body go to waste. I, of course, had to wear one of those granny swimdresses while literally EVERY other girl in our party rocked a bikini. I tried so hard to just have fun and not let these things bother me but the monkey chatter was going 90 to nothing in my head.

I know that I should focus on all the positives but it's really hard. Coming up this July 4th my friends and I are taking our annual rafting trip. We go tubing and I curse myself for not being any smaller that I was the year before. Tubing and rafting while you're overweight is so uncomfortable. Especially the tubing part! There is no comfortable way to sit in that inflatable hole of hell unless you are thin. My butt's too big to plop in the middle of it, my legs and my gut are too big to sit indian style in the middle of it. The water is too shallow to just hang on with your arms...

These are the things that I end up focusing all my attention on instead of just enjoying the moments I am lucky enough to be a part of. I never really realized this until my fears have been proving to be wrong lately. Like being comfortable in the theater, or seeing a picture of me in that granny swimdress I was so self conscious of.. I didn't look so bad, did I?

I am so tired of being consumed with fat thoughts. I feel like I have to take my weight into account in EVERYTHING I do. What I wear: will I totally gross the general public out? Where we sit a restaurant: will I fit in the chair? Activities with friends: am I in good enough shape? When I hang out with friends: will I get enough to eat or will I have to be the fat kid to break the silence that it's time to grub?

A few weekends ago a group of us went to the Renaissance Festival. Which was totally dorky and amazing! There was a ride that looked like the best time ever. They wanted to get on it but I saw that there was a 250 pound weight limit. I was flooded with horrible memories of that time at Six Flags a few summers ago when I was too big for some of my favorite roller coasters. I immediately played it off, but one of the people in the group made a smart comment. I pretended not to hear. Obviously it bothered me, but what was I going to do? I'm the one who made it awkward in the first place for being too fat to ride the damn thing. I told them to feel free to get on it, but no one wanted to leave me in the crowd. I really wouldn't have minded them riding it! But once you get so deep into that conversation of  "no really, go ahead, I'm fine, etc..." it's better to just move on.

Shoes. I literally have to think about my weight when I shoe shop. As a 20-something year old girl, this is the ultimate disappointment. I should be rocking every new style that comes along. But there's no way in hell I would be able to stroll along in this for long. Not that I necessarily would, but I'm just saying...

Luckily, kitten heels are making a comeback this Spring :)

I could keep going with my fat thoughts, but I won't continue to depress you.  Let me tell you about some good things now. A good friend of mine pointed out a picture of me from this time last year, noting the difference in my face. He then told me how much weight he can tell that I've lost and how proud of me he is. This meant so much to me: A) because he's a guy, and guys just usually don't get all mushy b) because he told me right at a time when I have been really down lately. Here's that picture he was talking about (btw, this is him in the one directly below :):

And here's a picture of me from a couple weekends ago:

Apparently I had a better tan this time last year lol.

As hard as it is to focus on the positives, I have to. I cannot afford to let that negative fat chatty Kathy in my head get the best of me. I moped all day yesterday because I was feeling so down and fat. My condo looked like it could be on an episode of Hoarders. I woke up this morning refusing to fall back into old habits. I have come too far to let something like a damn intertube make me feel inferior to skinny minnie friends. They love me for who I am- why can't I?

Ginger + Buttermilk Creamed Kale Omlette...

...and a 110 calorie bagel thin with homemade strawberry fat free cream cheese.

Doesn't leave much left for me to explain, does it?

First off, I am currently obsessed with bagel thins. 110 calories for a WHOLE bagel? Yes, please. And thank God for fat free cream cheese!



I threw that fat free goodness in a processor with fresh strawberries. So good!



P.S. the leftover strawberry cream cheese is awesome with apple slices.




Now to that ridiculously long omlette description. Monday night I made Ginger + Buttermilk Creamed Kale and Chicken. It was so good. I threw the leftover kale in a skillet with some eggs and it was just as tasty.



Creaming the kale was easy. I boiled about a pound of dinosaur kale, stems removed, until it wilted (10 minutes), drained, cooled, then coarsely chopped it. Sauteed about a cup of white onions, chopped, with butter until soft. Then I simmered with a cup of fat free sour cream, cup of water, teaspoon of corriander, tablespoon of fresh grated ginger on medium for about 6 minutes. Added a cup of fat free buttermilk, cooked on medium for a few minutes, added salt and pepper, then finally the kale. Cooked cream and kale together on low for about 3 minutes. Done! And so good.

I'm Too Sexy for my Goggles

An interesting observation I make every time I hit the pool for a swimming workout: fellow swimmers refuse to jump in a lane already occupied by a fatty. Everyone walking into the pool skips the fattys' lanes! I mean, are they afraid fat cells are going to swim up their butts? And it's a swimming lane, swam at staggering intervals with a lane buddy, so it's not like room is a concern! And they DO know the lanes share the same water, right? Human nature. So silly sometimes. Since I refuse to classify myself as a fatty, I credit my luminous awesomeness in a swim cap and goggles. They can't handle it. Yes, even with upside down goggles!